Marcus Raises A Very Interesting Point!

"Marcus raises a very interesting point when he says that happy womendon't worry about balance. Instead, they purposely imbalance theirlives toward the moments they most enjoy. It's hard for women to giveup the idea that we are seeking balance and juggling. We've been doingit for so long and so many messages in the media tell us that's whatwe're supposed to do and happiness comes from being a very good juggler.Marcus is right. When we are so focused on getting through the day andgetting everything done, we miss the moments of joy that happen (orcould happen if we were noticing.) In our book, "What Happy WorkingMothers Know", we provide tips and tools for women who want to stopjuggling and start living. It's not easy but it begins with some basicprinciples. We agree with Marcus' premise although we take a differentapproach to helping women find their happiest life. Whichever approachyou take, happiness requires that you shut out the noise of everyoneelse's expectations listen to your own voice. For many of us, it's beenso long since we thought about what we want that it takes a lot ofeffort to figure that out. Once we do identify what is truly importantto us, we can begin to realign our time and energy so that we spend moreof it on activites that make us feel strong and less on things thatdeplete us. It may seem impossibly difficult but it can be done - onestep at a time.

Why does happiness matter?

Happiness is more controversial than you would expect. It sounds like such a simple, basic emotion. Parents frequently say all they want for their children is health and happiness. Simple, right? Not really. Adults, especially women, learn to put their needs behind duty, obligation and the needs of others. We defer our happiness until the weekend or vacation. It is childish or selfish, we are told, to worry about being happy when you have a family to support and care for. We disagree, vigorously.Happiness is a health issue. Happiness also improves your performance at work and at home. The Heart Math Institute in California has done extensive research on the physiological impact of happiness on the body. They found that when a person is experiencing positive emotions, their heart rhythms synchronize with the nervous system allowing their body to operate in a highly efficient way. Happiness also relieves stress and stress related hormones like cortisone are also at low levels when a person is happy. In terms of job performance, we know that people flourish when they are in an environment where they feel appreciated, respected and safe. People are at their most creative and make their best decisions under those conditions. So, to be your healthiest and to perform you best at work and at home, you need to be happy. If you find yourself thinking “I would be happy if only…”, please stop. Happiness is not contingent on certain events like getting a better job or finding a different spouse. Happiness is a choice you make every morning. By choosing to focus on the positives in our life rather than dwelling on the negatives, we can begin to feel happier. By identifying and living in accordance with our principles, we feel happy. Happiness is a discipline not just good luck.Our recipe for happiness is:

H – healthy physically and emotionally
A – Adaptive, able to handle change
P – Proud of your work
P – Proud of your family
Y – Young at heart

More on each of those components in our future blogs.

Happiness is a Choice

Motherhood is the most satisfying and powerful job any woman will ever have. As moms we nurture and shape the lives of our children and our families. Fathers play an important role, yet as mothers, we are the CEOs of our families, and just like in the corporate world, we set the tone. The way we feel affects how our family feels. Watching and nurturing our children as they grow brings us great joy, and for many working mothers that translates to personal happiness. Healthy kids, a good job, and a loving spouse or partner, friends, and family all are part of what happiness is all about. True, deep-down personal happiness, though is more than being grateful; it’s more than the absence of suffering, as well. Personal happiness and joy constitute a view of the world; they indicate your ability to align your life to your values; to learn to love and forgive yourself and others, and to find true joy in the small details of everyday life. Sometimes as working mothers the joy and fulfillment in raising a child can be overshadowed by the responsibilities of a full- or part-time job. You have the choice, though, to be energized by the balancing act of family and employment demands. By taking care of your own happiness, you will be better at everything you do, as a mother, a worker, and partner.

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